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  • Writer's pictureLayne Philipson

Valentine's Day: 10 Tips for Single Moms to Have an Awesome Time, Alone

Growing up, I never considered Valentine's Day to be particularly special or important, and I never felt left out when 8th-grade classmates all seemed to have Valentines when I definitely did not. Into adulthood, I still felt a little removed from the holiday and told myself I was too busy to care anyway.

As a single mom to a toddler boy, the FOMO from Valentine's Day can be real. I couldn't quite tell you specifically why, but I think it just reminds me of the things I don't have, that I feel like I should have, you know? So, what is a single mom to do?!

Don't let this be you.

First, drop the fixation that Valentine's Day is only for couples who are deeply in love to drink champagne and feed each other chocolate-covered strawberries while in a bubble bath. There are so many other pictures to think about when picturing Valentine's Day, and many of them coincide perfectly with being a single mom. To me, it's about love - celebrating love, experiencing love, self-love, all things love. The limits on The Day of Love simply do not exist.

Also, be selfish for a minute. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back! You are a single mom, one person, and look at all the things you are doing for your child(ren). Love that.

Here are 14 ways I plan to satisfy my Valentine's Day appetite while also figuring in the fact that I am a single mom with a full-time job, and adding in the fact that February 14, 2024, falls smack dab in the middle of the work week. I love my friends, but on my special night, I want to vegetate at home after my son has gone to bed, I don't know about you.

Celebrate Your Love for Others

Reflect on how lucky you are that you have someone to love unconditionally and that that tiny person loves you back.

You, yes you, have such a great thing that so many others do not - a baby child who loves you with all their heart. You have a whole human who looks up to you, thinks of you as their hero, and considers you to be their safest place. And it was you who made that happen. Sure, you probably had some help along the way, but at the end of the day, you have done quite a thing. Appreciate yourself.

Make a Valentine's Day basket for your little one.

My mom used to set something out for me every morning on Valentine's Day. Think of little things, like Kit Kats, a card, and a stuffed animal. I don't know why, but that little act sticks with me to this day, and I am making it a tradition with my son too. Remember, Valentine's Day is a gift of love, and putting a little gift out for your baby is a great way to kick the day off!

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Have a mommy and me date night.

Why not apply your new-found appreciation for The Day of Love with a special night just for you and your little one(s). You can bet I will be having a special mommy-and-me evening with my son this Valentine's Day, and I am going to be corny about it. We are going to make heart-shaped cookies, watch a movie, and have an extra-long story time before bed.

I can guarantee you ours will not look like these.

Call a family member or friend, even if for only 5 minutes.

I often pressure myself into having long conversations with my friends and family, especially when I haven't seen them for a while, but that rarely fits into my busy days. I prioritize setting more time out for them on slower days, like the weekend, but try to make a concentrated effort to call someone you love for a short window of time, just to hear their voice. Even better, tell them how much you appreciate them and the love that they show you.

Okay, now time to celebrate YOURSELF

Pamper yourself, you deserve it.

Alright, time focus on us. Especially for single moms who so rarely have a moment to themselves, self-care is so important. Valentine's Day gives you the perfect excuse to take some time out of your day to focus on yourself. You don't need to have a whole spa experience or spend hours at the salon (although, you totally should if you can). Little things like face masks, eye patches, a (my favorite and cheap) lip scrub, and shower steamers can make a difference. Taking a bath or a long shower can set you up for a great night.

Listen to an audiobook while you soak in the bath.

Reading but keeping your eyes closed why covered in bubbles? Count me. Get yourself an Audible membership, turn on your favorite book, and try your best to lose yourself in a story. It doesn't need to be anything intense like how to change the world, make a million dollars overnight, or how to be the best mom ever - just something light that you can listen to without feeling like you have to take notes.

Throw on silk pajamas.

I am certainly not one for pajamas, but there is something special about fancy pajamas and a you night. Throw a cute pair on (bonus points if you moisturize after your bath or shower), and get ready to settle in.

Watch the cheesiest rom-com you find comfort in.

Bonus points if it's a movie your ex HATED (mostly kidding). But really, hook yourself up on your fave streaming platform and pick something. For inspo, movies that satisfy me are: The Other Woman, Just Go With It, 27 Dresses. Tip: Pick out your movie a couple of days before so you're not wasting 45 minutes trying to pick something the night of!

Buy yourself flowers and chocolate.

"I can buy myself flowerssss, write my name in the sand..." If you live near a beach, by all means, write your name in the sand too.

Otherwise, buy yourself a bouquet of fresh flowers - they don't have to be fancy. I am a fake flower girl through and through, but getting real flowers on this day can help me find pleasure in the little things. And chocolate too, of course.

Get yourself a small gift.

Okay, I am also definitely going to use this day as an excuse to buy myself something momish and tell myself it's on behalf of my toddler (He is definitely going to be getting this coffee cup thing for maximum cheesiness).

What I hope you remember is:

Valentine's Day conjures images of people deeply in love, why can't those people be you and yourself?

At the end of the day, it's just another day. What you do with it matters.

“What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking? More powerful.” ~Unknown

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